December 2011
happy new year everyone! i’m going to be bringing it in in my favourite place in the world, the heart of melbourne! ♥
1 tag
emily and ajaya: -invite her out to cool place-
schkenkin: come to altona meadows!
gay male: i'm gay
straight female: OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG
gay female: i'm gay
straight female: EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DONT TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS
And let's not forget -
Gay female: I'm gay
Straight male: OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male: I'm gay
Straight male: HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
the-vashta-nerada:
fun fact about the human body!
if you took the skin of an average human and laid it out
you would have enough
to get a pretty fucking serious criminal conviction
ah new year celebrations are looking up!
i have an outfit change intended, hopefully some brilliant company, incredible weather, a plan that does not involve any kind of alcohol but is centred around my gorgeous city and yes! fingers crossed it’s a lovely, relaxed, generally gorgeous night!
oh my god, what a bitch
tamsin’s not coming to the formal with me, she found out i’m not really a lesbian!!! oh my god, what a bitch!
i don’t want to bring in the new year around you, you are the one thing that i am happy to have out of my life completely in 2012.
anyone have cool new years plans they want to...
my plans have fallen through. :/
i hate cutting my fingernails.
growing them is like, the only talent that i have so severing them off is actually heartbreaking.
sometimes i do really dumb shit
and then i’m just like fuck emily why did you do that?
this has been the last few days. work yesterday was so bad. i’m such a dipshit sometimes my goodness.
1 tag
emily: is it really disgusting to eat cheesecake at ten in the morning?
mother: yes.
emily: so i guess that means i can't eat that cheesecake in the fridge...
mother: only if there's enough there for both of us.
ajaya now you're back and shit
ah-jay-uh:
onomatomania:
we are totally having a jekyll marathon in preparation for the sherlock season one marathon that we have in preparation for season two! :) kthxbai.
this will totally happen- bring skins with you, i need that too ;D
i don’t even have skins, i’ll just bring my harddrive and you can get all the things on it so make computer space.
ajaya now you're back and shit
we are totally having a jekyll marathon in preparation for the sherlock season one marathon that we have in preparation for season two! :) kthxbai.
having said all that, i am way too sad to drink spirits at the moment. that’s okay though, because cheap red wine is the greatest thing ever and i can hold my goon. now.
ahahaha my other pretentious life advice is to...
fun shit seems to happen and you generally don’t remember the parts where you cry.
1 tag
emily: tv is the great love of my life.
mother: that's a bit sad...
emily: not really. you fell in love with a man and look where it got you!
mother: you're wrong. i'm in love with my ipad.
emily: that's a bit sad...
mother: it's the most important person in my life.
emily: -hits her with wet toothbrush- that's me!
mother: hey!
emily: i'm the most important person in your life!
mother: ... nah ipad.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-25) →
The John Butler Trio (24)
Kate Nash (14)
Glee Cast (6)
Klaxons (5)
Green Day (4)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
twenty days until camp!
when you leave
who the fuck am i going to call at one in the morning to cry about how i drank all the vodka so there’s none left or four in the morning to cry about how amazing/dull/terrible my life/personality/location/situation is?
dear dickheads at work,
“the centre is now closed” does not mean “please, go into the changerooms and have a twenty minute shower”. i worked super hard to be ready to leave at 5:05 and you decided, after a twenty minute, fifteen minute, ten minute and five minute call, to go have a fucking shower after we announced that we were closed.
are you fucking stupid?
luv emily xoxo
1 tag
1 tag
Outrageous Fortune Confessions: The Unofficial... →
ofconfessions:
One Sip every time…
Loretta lies, manipulates or commits blackmail
sex, drugs and/or sausage rolls are mentioned or seen (alcohol inclusive)
a main character commits a crime
Kasey mentions her “bahama triangle”, two if someone corrects her
Two Sips every time…
Loretta makes a film…
spending a christmas in new york is a dream i hope...
today i thought about suburbia
the suburbs is a good album because somehow it captures the relatively dull nature of the suburbs and still manages to turn that into something poignant and meaningful, which is actually how life is - dull, standard, suburban but ultimately significant simply because it is life. today, christmas day, i saw people at their fakest highs and their most normal lows - i saw people struggling through...
1 tag
emily: i am way too attractive to go to our family christmas party, i should be at like a nightclub or something...
mother: yeah chrismynt.
emily: seriously i am going to take a video of me eating this cream and put it on the internet and everyone will love it.
mother: ... please, don't.
1 tag
mother: i've gotta bloody do some chroming.
emily: did you just say you have to do some chroming?
mother: ... some cream.
but for now, let me say, without hope or agenda,...
i love you all and i hope that i didn’t forget anyone but if so i adore you and i’m so desperately sorry for my inadequacy and please tell me how shit i am. otherwise i really fucking love you all! merry christmas! four for all of you, you’re all glen coco!
reblog if you're the cut3 angl3 on top of the tree
emily: that's why little kids are so hard to buy for!
mother: why, because we can't just get them booze?